I recently stumbled, almost literally as it happens, across this most extraordinary book. It was as if it had been lying in wait; its desire to be read crying out like the petulant mew of a hungry cat, demanding that most immediate part of my attention. And I have felt the strongest compulsion to respond ever since. To the book that is, not the cat. ‘The Authority Gap’ explores why women are less likely than men to be taken seriously in positions of authority; how they, for example, regularly experience insidious micro aggressions such as interruption, questioning, belittling - and how the qualities we have learnt to associate with authority are, in essence, ‘masculine’. There is a chapter on what we can do about it which, amongst other things, explores ways we can pro-actively expose ourselves to more women’s voices. This alleviates to some extent the feelings of frustration the book ignites, but you’re clearly left with the sense that there is an awfully long way to go. My impulse to respond has been driven in part by excitement that at last the challenges I have faced in everyday interactions since as long as I can remember, suddenly have a name, a context, a data-driven backbone: systemic sexism, unconscious gender bias. Hardly new terms or concepts I hear you cry. Fair point. But did you also roll your eyes? If so, I’m afraid to say you are part of the problem. And before you get too uppity, actually we all are – part of the problem that is – hence the word systemic. Never has such damning data felt at once so mortifying yet simultaneously exhilarating to read. The overarching concept it sheds light on may well not be new, but the eloquent and scientific pinpointing of the (seemingly invisible) gender authority gap feels breathtakingly new. Not least because it told me what I’d needed to hear for such a very, very long time; I’m not imagining it. How many times, in the few short days it took me to devour this book, did internalised, long suppressed rage come dangerously close to boiling point whilst reading that I am far from alone? That this problem is in fact gargantuan - experienced by the many, not the few? Solace in numbers perhaps, but outrage too that despite half the population suffering these injustices day in day out, still no one is really talking about it. If even female world leaders continue to experience these challenges on a daily basis, then we can only begin to imagine their impact on successfully silencing our voices, our opinions, our unique strengths. Except we no longer have to imagine, because there is now a book dedicated entirely to it. It feels apt to engage with this material from a communication perspective. Many of those whose voices we at 'In The Room' are trying to encourage, hone and raise, are those of women. As women ourselves we are naturally interested in what other women have to say and passionately want it to be heard. We’ve always known it was worth hearing, but it seems there are still plenty who need convincing - or who are simply not aware of the deafening female silence surrounding them. I sincerely hope this book will help change that. I loved the image at the end of a world led solely by men being likened to a bird flying with only one of its wings (credit Mary McAleese). If I’ve learnt nothing else (I have, by the way) whilst exploring my privilege in the past few years, it is the importance of allyship; that I must proactively look for opportunities to collaborate with minority voices towards common goals, how I must lend my voice to those still struggling to be heard. And, importantly, how we might - by finally using that second wing - all gain from creating a more equitable society. Hard to argue with, huh?* *If you just muttered ‘no’, sighed or groaned, I would encourage you to read this book as a matter of extreme urgency… Written by Hannah Emanuel 'In The Room' Training

A wise man (Dale Carnegie) once said: “To be interesting, be interested.” Another wise man (Chris Voss, FBI hostage negotiator) said “The secret of negotiating is empathy”. (…And there were many wise women who were no doubt too engaged in following the above advice to actually say anything on the matter…) Both these sayings go to the heart of what we believe in because they encourage you to put your energy outside yourself. This has a myriad of advantages. It stops you being distracted by the critical parrot on your shoulder – the one that is telling you how embarrassing you’re being and how likely it is that you’re going to forget the next thing you had to say and how much this presentation is going to be the end of your career. That parrot. That parrot doesn’t get a look-in because you are too busy being a detective and listening or better still sensing what’s in front of you. What does your audience want? What is really important to the person on the other side of the table. How are they feeling right now? It’s brilliant for nerves because it distracts you. While you’re thinking about the interesting fact that the person in front of you looks cold you will be feeling much less nervous than when thinking about the fact that your own hand is shaking. It’s also going to make you so much more engaging. Who isn’t seduced by someone who appears to know exactly what they’re thinking – and CARE. As actors we are always being encouraged to “be in the moment”. What this means is that we might spend weeks learning a part and further weeks researching it and rehearsing it but when it comes to the moment that we are on stage, we try to be in that moment and nowhere else. We try to be as playful and absorbed as children. We try to be interested not interesting. The only way to achieve this is to give our grownup brains a job. That job is to notice, observe and be responsive to anything that comes back at us. This might be as subtle as a twitch in our partner’s face or a slight flickering of the lights or – I don’t know – an aeroplane flying overhead. We use all of our senses, not just our eyes, and we respond in the moment. Another job we give our grownup brains is to try to achieve something from the other character. For example in a scene about a break up, rather than giving ourselves the direction to “be sad” we might play “get the other person to pity me” or “hide how I’m feeling from the other person by mocking them” or “reassure the other person”. Whatever action we chose to play (and it changes minute by minute) it will be way more interesting for an audience than simply “being sad”. And guess what, it stops actors getting nervous too. The way to apply the above is to think always about the person you are talking to rather than yourself. Observe and pick up on information in front of you, have objectives (how you want to affect that person) and be flexible in pursuit of those objectives. When I’m working on a presentation with someone, I always ask them: “What do your audience need or want to know?” You’d be amazed how much of the powerpoint can be dumped as soon as you ask yourself that question. (Actually just dump the whole thing. You’re so much more interesting than a screen.) But, I hear you say…. BUT …... “I’ve got to remember all the stuff I’m supposed to be saying, the last thing I’ve got space for in my brain is to work out what someone else/ 300 people are thinking about me.” I’m going to stop you right there. First of all, it’s not “what they’re thinking about you”. They’re probably not thinking about you at all. If you’re lucky and you’re doing your job right then they’re thinking about what you’re saying. They’re applying it to their own lives. They’re relieved you’re making them laugh because it’s the end of a long Friday etc etc… It’s all about them. Really. And guess what, if you come prepared- and by that I mean so prepared that you could give your speech in your sleep, then you will be able to take the next step which is to “throw it all away”. By this I mean, let go of the material, let it fly, rely on your brain to know it but don’t feel the need to be sitting astride that brain-horse controlling its every move. Instead allow it some space. Not only will it know the material without being constantly reminded (the way you can tell your children a story without panicking that you don’t know the next line) but it will also enjoy being given a bit of freedom and will start coming up with creative ways to approach the material which will be as fresh as ANYTHING because they will be utterly relevant to THIS audience in THIS moment. The key to all of this is relaxation. But it is also the key to making you relaxed. Go figure.